...(Sigh)...I'm Thinking.

They say some of the BEST things in life come unexpectedly, in unexpected paces and in unexpected ways. Jokes aren't jokes anymore-and those days, well they'll fade. But its only as a result of them that we are where we are today. Learning and listening, while disregarding what was really in the works between us. If only we had the understanding to correlate our experiences; maybe then the choices that were made then wouldn't have been. Maybe, just maybe we wouldn't have to question where we are today. Regardless of the facts that pertain to these matters, we've made it...all of us, each in our own separate ways, all on our own separate paths. Only to find one another yet again, realizing that we've made it only far enough to realize, retell and perhaps recommit past offenses we've still yet to learn.

But, that's our nature after all isn't it? We move forward only to look back and learn in order to continue further along in the journey.

As a result of these things, I wonder how progressive we are. Not only in truth, but also in the rhythmic beats of our hearts and spirits? Do our friendships parallel our ideals of love and self love; or are we conditionally conditioned to rate our existences on scales that are neither quantitative or qualitative--but merely happen to exist?

I'm tired of concluding that seeking self has to come from within and that most things* only provide temporary relief because they offer alternatives as opposed to direct solutions. And while I rest on the subject, I'd like to state that its topical and less than water soluble--because the lines hereafter are rarely ever clear cut. They just blend and erase with the passing of time, like all things do.

In the process though, well...I mean in the PROCESS of losing me, I'll find you and neglect to realize my initial reason for searching for "self". It was my purpose to find me, but like I said instead I found you, ideals and a cause. More importantly, I discovered that its all a maze that ends where it begins and restarts somewhere in the middle.

Chaos you'd say, but "normality" as I've come to understand both the flaws of life and my life subjectively.

...(Sigh)...Mondays make me think, so I thought long and hard today.