An Open Letter to the One Who Has My Heart:

I'm sure that you'll read this and be as surprised to read this, as I am to write it. I figured, if there's something that my heart could translate into words or at least blog about it would be this, but probably much, much more. I'm sure I could fill that journal of mine that everyone is dead set on calling a diary about how faint the presence of words and poetry wrapped around you causes me to feel. But the truth is, I've never had to write an open letter to the one who has my heart and question what the reception of it would be...instead I anticipate a deep and calculated read and then maybe one of the most passionate responses that I can't even imagine yet. But, that's besides the point. I digress...back to my heart blogging, well at least for now....


The love I've sought out through the depths of her existence has been so cleverly disguised as a friend, turned best friend and now love. Not only were laughs shared and awkward giggles with the brush of kisses on the cheek, but now both our hearts and souls have kissed and danced under the moonlight, on my favorite beach in the waking hour. See, we've ultimately altered the future with the hopes of binding and fusing "self" in place to be of greater influence on each others lives, than what we are today.


I wonder if you know that I've made a date with you somewhere far beyond where you can imagine, in a special place that I'm sure you've been to a time or two before? Perhaps you think its a bluff, but I know with every fiber of who I am here and now, we'll make it to that place not only in love, but more importantly how we began; in friendship.


That's the part that makes me blush....you were my friend and I would've never imagined an "us" as we are now--but I did fantasize about one throughout the course of ritual late night passionate sessions of thoughts coupled with music and emotion. I didn't realize it then, but I could always expect a late night urge to grab up the only comfort I've come to know and find solace and reprieve. Too bad I was too blinded from the warped realities that flourish not only within in me, but outside and around me to realize that we've been building a fortress because we've completed what seems to be the foundation...but, somehow I know we understand that building doesn't happen overnight...so we need not rush.


And speaking of rushing...I wonder if you know how much my heart pace rushes just from the faintest touch or how I think my heart skips a beat when you remind me that you and I have a solidified bond? Or that speaking of the future makes me weak?


I can't lie and say that my heart no longer has any fear. But consequently since you've been here you've shown me that love and loving should be one of the easiest things I do in this lifetime. Whether its with you or in my future endeavors, I can say without a shadow of doubt that I have loved before even truly understanding the scope and the depth of my love until now.

As I sit here in this place, I realize that I have reached a point I have sought after for a long time...It has nothing to do with love and loving you, but with loving me and where I am at this very point in life. It wasn't until long ago that I concluded, that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in life; no further along and no much further behind. However, more and more its become apparent that this is a learning process for me as much as this is a development process for you, and I hope that through each phase in the process and the envisioning of our futures somehow I know we'll be close in reach.

So, here it is my heart poured out (in a small dose of course)...I'm confident that what I feel is what I NEED to share! And its not so much who it's addressed to but its more about the feeling and the feeling that erupt even in this very moment. Consequently, the one who has my heart...has it buried in faith, trust and most importantly love! I pray that through my love, this love can grow and grow....hopefully giving you as the reader the opportunity to know me and my love more and more, better and better as deeply and HONESTLY as I can profess it!